There is nothing like attending
your first Kentucky Birthday Party.
your first Kentucky Birthday Party.
Here are things you should know
( should you find yourself invited to one in the near future).
( should you find yourself invited to one in the near future).
Do not go alone because you have to drive through
a scene from deliverance to get to the "farm".
The FARM is a real farm.
Not a "tourist farm" that has birthday parties and a petting zoo.
So bring boots and hand sanitizer.
And a nose plug.
Do not assume that just because the Birthday girl
is turning 10 that she might like girly things.
Because, in fact, her favorite present
was a 20 gauge shot gun.
Be prepared for questions like:
"So where'ya from again?"
Don't forget your "fishin pole" or your worms
because otherwise the party children will ask you to bait their hooks...
...with horse manure
And if you have to pee...
you will have to use an outhouse.
you will have to use an outhouse.
Not a porta-potty...
OUT. HOUSE.
OUT. HOUSE.
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