Every morning and every night after bath-time, my husband, dylan and I pile onto our bed and spend time together.
It's quite possibly my most favorite thing in the world right now.
Dylan flops around and smothers us with wet sloppy kisses. He spontaneously hugs me and says "Hi Mommy" and nestles himself right into my arms.
He whispers "Let's get cozy!" and snuggles inbetween us. Telling Daddy to "Get his toes up on the bed", lest he think he might run away to go feed the kitties or hang up a bath towel.
These last few nights it has hit me with full force that our time as a" family of three" is dwindling away.
His little boy way of standing between us and grabbing each hand and swinging as we walk because we have no one else to carry or worry about...is coming to an end. Our endless chats without interruption and the full beam of parental attention shining directly on him...will soon be gone.
I know that giving Dylan a sibling is a gift that is in no way measurable. I KNOW this, like I know how to read and count. But I don't FEEL it. Right now, all I can think about is how Dylan's world will change, how his life will be forever different....not how it will be enriched.
So right now I'm letting myself mourn our family of three. And miss the simplicity of 2 parents and one child. I will miss the lazy days of one-on-one and the silence that comes when our one child is in bed for the night. I'll miss being able to lavish all my love and adoration on one single human.
But I will still wait hopefully for my new normal and my new baby and our new... family of four.
Nice post - we went thru that when we had Jake. Samantha was an only child for 3 1/2 years and we loved that time. When Jake arrived she told me she loved her brother so much she wanted to squeeze his head off. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteThat made me feel better.
ReplyDelete