Pee Envy

You know when you feel that "prideful" feeling.

The one where you chest feels all puffed out and you're hoping someone notices and says something.

Well, I'm feeling that way right now.

See, I just had a drug test. A WORK drug test. So they can make sure i wasn't all hopped up on pills or crack cocaine when I decided to kiss the pavement at work this weekend. (i wasn't.)

And when I peed in the cup, my pee was CLEAR.

Like you might have thought it was a glass of water with a squeeze of lemon.

THAT kind of clear.

And when they stacked my clear pee on the shelf next to the other pee.

Man did it stand out! All the other pee was dark, scary, and gross.

In fact, my pee handler didn't even where gloves to pour my pee into a test tube because it was THAT clear.

I really wanted him to comment on my obviously superior hydration. Something like:  "GOL- LY...You sure must be drinking your water!" (he didn't)

And my entire drive back I kept wanting to TELL someone about  my pee. But then I got back into my office and realized that, maybe no one else would find it as exciting as me.

So instead, i decided to blog about it. You'd think I'd be more proud about the fact that I'm clearly not on any drugs, but no....I'm actually really proud of my clear pee.