Rough

Things have been a bit rough lately.

Since the onset of Shingles everyone in my little family has been sick. At least one person every week.

We've had a stomach bug.

We've had ear infections.

We've had anemia.

It just wasn't ending. I don't even want to say it is over for fear of angering the germs that are still lingering in my house despite my ever present effort to eradicate them from the earth.

On top of that we've REALLY had to tighten our boot straps because money is scarce until loans come in July.

That is the worst part of not working.

 I am treasuring this time I have with my kids but I feel helpless and sad that I'm not contributing to our financial well being. The problem is any job that this little southern city has for me doesn't pay enough to justify the cost of two children in daycare and we are leaving in less than a year. I"d hate to start a real job and leave so quickly...just when I'm getting the hang of things and proving myself.

 For now I'm keeping my eyes open for part-time work that will still add to my resume so that when we move, my brain, and my professional trajectory won't be mush.

But I do miss my work. I miss dressing up. I miss having work friends and work discussions. I miss having my opinion matter to someone other than my almost one year old. I've almost been at home for a year. Something I can HONESTLY say I never ever thought I would do. But i also know that I will look back on this time home with my children and think how very lucky I really was.

I know someday this rough patch will be a distant memory but right now without the help of our families we would be sunk. I am so grateful to them and hope that someday I can show my gratitude the way that I want. For now...they get pictures and hugs from grandchildren.