I'm dusting off the keyboard and digging deep into my brain and heart to reconnect with myself.
Blogging for me has always been a way to make sense of my days. Keep track of the little things. Like a journal that I can share with my children some day.
While I've been gone for almost 6 months, not much has changed really. We've grown accustomed to not having Craig around. He's sadly, an afterthought to all my planning.
Invited to a party? Sure, we'll be there! But I only mean myself and the kids. I don't even check his schedule, because inevitably, he's working.
Decision about the kids? I make it. No consulting or discussions. There is not time nor room in his brain to consider gymnastics over dance class.
Need to hang the Christmas lights? Find me a ladder.
Dinner tonight? Chicken for 3.
This is both liberating and depressing.
Liberating because I feel independent and strong, depressing because I signed on for a partnership but for now, it's lonely.
His last stretch of working days was 21 days long. No days off. That's nearly a month if you're good at math.
But things aren't all poor me. The kids are thriving. They have learned to roll with the punches and consider any moment they have with their Daddy as a bonus. And he works so hard to reach out to them in little ways.By leaving notes, surprises, videos. He is a good father.
And there is LIGHT at the end of this tunnel. The next 3 months promise to be better. His first vacation! Some easy rotations! We are eagerly awaiting the time.
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